Today Cartoons

'Kids today eh What do they look like'

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'That Jane Pauley's been on this show for years and she still hasn't found a date.' 'Maybe she forgot she's married to Garry Trudeau.'

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'Due to scheduling conflicts, the Today show will be seen tomorrow....'

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'It's a new record — I switched long-distance companies eleven times today.'

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Today is the slowest news day in 37 years — for a report on that, we switch you to....

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'Are you sure you want dollars, sir? -- We have a special today on zlotys!'

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'This isn't working -- by the time I make out my list of things to do today, it's tomorrow!'

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'The President today targeted Paula Abdul for regime change....'

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'Today's speech is available on cassette, and I just know you'll all want to buy one!'

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'Make up your mind, M'sieur — a hundred years from now, what difference will it make what you had for lunch today?'

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