Television Stories Cartoons

'Bad things happened to good people today -- film at eleven.'

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'The President today announced tough new security measures for ego trips....'

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'...And no salesman will call -- You may, however, find yourself on a bunch of whacky mailing lists.'

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'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

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'Now I KNOW it's insulting my intelligence!'

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'The discovery of a rare manuscript has revealed that Leonardo da Vinci invented the pay toilet.'

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'Good evening. I'm Margie Stableford, the blondest newscaster on television!'

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'In an effort to 'level the playing field,' the Government today decided to tax everybody at 100....

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'This is National Public Television, under fierce attack from the extreme right....'

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'The Government reports no progress today in its talks with the International Brotherhood of Federal Mediators....'

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