News Broadcasts Cartoons

'Stocks decline on news there is more to fear than fear itself.'

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'They hired a chimp to read the news! The ratings war must really be heating up.'

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'After cartoons, then can I watch the news?'

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Some countries behaved poorly today.

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Tonight we are rebroadcasting the best of last week's news.

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It isn't just the media that's biased...often the voters are too.

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'And now the last minute report just handed to me ... The dam has broken! Head for the hills!'

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'This is just a test. I repeat, this is just a test. But then - maybe not!'

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...and now for the news in briefs...

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'To be more like 'reality TV' we're adding a laugh track during up markets, and sobbing noises during down markets.'

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