Appearances Cartoons

The first sign of spring is landscapers driving by and laughing at my unkempt lawn.

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'Do you have a size eight that looks like a seven, and feels like a nine?'

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Objects may appear fairer than they actually are.

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'I'd like to help you, Mrs. Snodgrass, but my medical waste management service has limits on the amount they'll haul away.'

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'I don't think I've seen your brother, what does he look like?'

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Man in the mirror.

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'Do you have anything that looks like a cantaloupe but tastes like a cheesecake?'

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'I can take ten yards off your looks, but it'll only last until you shed your skin.'

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'Tell me the truth - Does this bullet-proof vest make me look fat?'

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'We'd like a change of venue, Your Honor.. my client doesn't like your face.'

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